Setting Expectations to Get More Done

Are you finding that it's harder and harder to just get stuff done? Even with the advent of AI that can do everything for you, we still seem to be leaving at the end of the day with a to-do list. It's, it's bigger than what it was, what when we started, and I've been thinking about this and the work that I do with people all around the world in professional services, just like you.

And I think I know the answer. I know this is the answer for me and for many people that I've worked with. So hopefully this is going to serve you as well. And if you can get one idea out of this months video that can help you to get that a little bit more done, to clear your plates so you can go home and relax and be who you need to be in every other area of your life than my job's done.

The biggest reason why, why you never get your to-do list completed is because of your expectations. Now, before we get into that, that term to-do list, it's one that I use because you use it and you need to stay relevant so that my message cuts through. But here's the thing to-do. Lists are not good for productivity.

So let's look at your to-do list. Does it ever get any smaller? Does it ever disappear? Did you ever get to the point when you've got nothing left to do and it's fed up on the desk, wait to the next phone call or the next crisis or whatever it is to happen? No. A do list is a constant reminder that you haven't got it all done yet.

Now, the effect that that has, particularly if you've got it staring at you all the time and you've got it linked to notifications that remind you of it constantly is it creates overwhelm. It creates a brain state that says, ah, I'm not going to get all this done. And it can demotivate you because you think, what's the use?

I'm not going to get it done. Anyway, the second thing is that it's a faded complete. Yes, I've got to-do list. Everyone's got a to-do list. It's something that I just settled for because that's the way it is. Well, let me challenge that thinking before we get into the today's main topic. I want you to consider getting rid of your to-do list altogether, and the only list that I want you to have is a to don't list, because it's normally the things that we do that if we didn't do would allow us to get stuff done that holds us back.

Now I know that we need to be able to keep record of what it is that needs to get done. I'm not saying let's just go with reckless a abandon and just see what happens. No, what I'm saying is remove from front of you this distraction of a to-do list. Now, if you still want have a to-do list, that's fine, but put it away somewhere and then take the individual things that are on that to-do list, put it through what I'm about to talk to you about today, and then get it in your calendar so that you know exactly when you're going to get it done.

Blocking time space in your calendar of when you're going to get things done reduces overwhelm because your brain knows that you've dealt with it. Leaving it on a list says, oh no, I've got all that to do. So now let's put the to-do list away. You needed to have that prerequisite understanding before what I say and really land home for you today.

So let's get back to expectations. There are two types of expectations that we need to deal with. Yes, the ones that we may think about are the expectations of others. However, I'm here to let you know that the most damaging expectations most of the time are the ones that you have on yourself. The ones that are linked to those identity challenges and those emotional intelligence challenges that we've talked about and we'll continue to talk about.

It says, for me to have value, I need to get a lot done. For me to be liked and belong and to have people think that I'm doing okay, that I'm good enough, I need to be able to tick stuff off. I need to be able to show them how much I've got done when I'm working in this shift in the area of productivity, in particular in the nine Crucial Shifts models that this all comes from.

This is about making a shift from focusing on time to focusing on outcomes, and I want you to make sure that you take that thinking through as we go on with this today. I further talk about the fact that you cannot manage time. It's not within your control. We can even try and trick it. We can turn the clock back and make it appeal like we've got more time.

Or for those of you who use the snooze alarm in the morning that you've found the clock forward a little bit, and when you hear the snooze alarm, you know, it's okay, I've still got some time left. Those things don't work. There are three things though that you can manage. The first one is your expectations, and that's what we're talking about today.

The second one is your environment, and part of that environment is getting rid of those distracting things, like to do lists and putting things into a place so that you only know when you need to do things, when you need to do them. I hope that made sense. And then the third area, in my experience and opinion, the most important, and that's manager energy.

And once again, removing overwhelm on your brain by having distractions, by having things like to-do lists will help you with your energy. However, the main thing that will help you with your energy is to harness in those expectations, the ones that you have on yourself. So how do we apply this practically what you need to do is have a look at what you think you are going to or need to get done today so that you are valuable, so that you belong and you are not going to be criticised, or whatever it is that's going through your internal dialogue and go, Hey, is that a realistic expectation?

Am I expecting myself to get that done because I want external approval, external validation, or is it within what I could get done and within my priorities? The second area then is to look at the expectations of others. And be able to, once again, working through that psychology and that identity work and the emotional intelligence work that I talked about.

Set some boundaries. You know, I, I constantly in my corporate career was the type of person who, someone just came and, you know, I could be flat out busy and have more than I could get done in the day, but get someone who I thought I could impress would come along and ask me to do something. All of a sudden, yes, I'm fine, I can do that.

And then when they walked away, I'd think, how am I get this done? And I'd be feeling like I'm being used and all those sort of things, but was me. So if your boundaries are not clear, then you are not going to be able to get everything done. You're going to overwhelm yourself, you're going to burn out. If you're going to go home at the end of the day and still need to work after you've tucked the kids into the bed or whatever you're doing and settle out to your wife and husband or whatever, and you've had something to wait, and then you go back to work because you didn't get it all done because the expectations were too high.

Now, I know that some of you listening to this will be thinking right now, well, I don't get to manage the expectations of others. I, I need to just do as I'm told. And that's true to a point. However, the way that you set these boundaries shows them your value. So let's give a scenario. Let's say someone's dropping by and they're giving you some stuff and they say, let's just use me.

Hey Grant, I need you to get this done by Friday. Now you could just go, yes, I said it could be Wednesday. You've already got all these things over here that need to get done by Friday. So you could say yes and then complain about it and not get it done and go into overwhelm and all the things that we do.

Or you could say, Hey, love to love to get that done by Friday. Can you help me to decide which one of these things I can put off until next week so that I can do that for you? So it's still saying I will do it. However, this is the boundary. I'm not going to get all this done. So if you want me to do that, I need your help to get rid of something else, to give it to someone else or to move it to next week.

Now. If you work for someone who is dealing with their own challenges and they just come back with, well, no need you to do all of them. And then that's up to you whether you decide that's the environment you want to stay in. However, you can also come back and say, well, I'm, I'm sorry. I'd love to, but that's just not possible.

Something is going to need to be pushed away. Well, can't you do it when you go home? Can't you take it home and do it? Can't you do it on the weekend? Well, yeah, I can but choose not to because I said I was going to go to my son's soccer mat on Saturday and I'm not missing that again. So, once again, the expectations that you have on yourself and that others have on you are all based around how healthy your identity is, whether you are conflicted or whether congruent, whether you are dealing with your emotions in a healthy way and navigating them well, or whether or not they are controlling you.

So expectations are vital. If you want to get more done. Now, I guarantee that in most cases, someone who you want to continue working with would go, oh, hey, yeah, look, I didn't realise that you had all that. Let me get someone else to do it. Or, well, that one there, we could do that till Monday. But this really, because we have a court deadline or whatever it is, needs to be done right now.

So the boundary hasn't been broken, it's just tweaked, adjusted the way that you get things done. Now, I will say before I close, that this whole area is one of the major areas that I might get pushed back all the time when I'm working with professional services practitioners in any country around the world, we don't understand, grant, I couldn't do that.

And the only thing that I suggest to them to do, and I'm going to do it for you as well, let's just have a go at it. Prove me wrong. It's not about me being right, it's about you getting more done and enjoying who you need to be with the energy that you've got in every area of your life. So that's the theme for this month.

We're going to continue to talk about this and I'd love you to get involved in the conversation as well. Set expectations for yourself that are realistic, and allow others to have expectations that fit within your values and your boundaries. I'll see you again.